She was a couple of years older than I, and seemed so grown up and unobtainable that I just watched her dance, and compensated with rather too much bad red wine. That’s the cop-out when you are eighteen, inexperienced, and just a bit shy. As the party wound down, I looked for her, but couldn't find her, so made my stumbling way back to my digs. The cool night air hit me hard, and to my shame I managed to find a culvert, over which I bent and was thoroughly sick. "Thought you were getting pissed," a voice from behind castigated me. "I'm sorry," I stuttered, my embarrassment complete, as it was she. "Are you okay now?" she asked rather more kindly. "I think so." "Well then, we'd better be getting you home." And so she walked me back to my digs, and left me there to stumble up to my bed, and to lust-filled dreams of her. A couple weeks later I was at another party, when a voice in my ear said, "I hope you won't drink too much tonight." We talked, we danced, and this time it was. But, this is scary stuff. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I know how I feel, but that doesn't make it right. Won't you give me some space, please?"When she said "please" to me with that certain sincere, loving tone of voice, I was a goner. "Okay, okay. But don't blame me if I'm limping around all the time." (As if there were blame or that I'd really be limping. The major organ limping in me was not my dick... it was my brain!)We'd gone skinny dipping each day in the freezing high-Sierra, snow-fed lake. It was so cold that my pecker had attempted to crawl back into my abdomen. My cremasteric muscles - that thin sheet of muscle that envelopes the spermatic cord and testes - had gone into such intense spasm from the cold that each day, on dashing back out of the water, I was doubled over with pain. It didn't help my sense of dignity or my macho image when Jean'd point and laugh at me. (I've since come to see the wisdom that warns: "It's OK to laugh in the bed room, but not.
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